Expectations can cause a lot of suffering.
Expectations are the anticipated outcomes or behaviors that individuals have in mind regarding a particular situation, event, or person (including oneself). They can be based on past experiences, modeling absorbed in childhood, cultural norms, personal beliefs, or societal standards. Expectations influence how people perceive and interpret events, how they interact with others, and how they plan for the future. They can vary greatly from person to person and can have a significant impact on emotions, relationships, and decision-making. Expectations can cause suffering in several ways:
Closing thoughts: Learn to expect what is! Ask yourself “how is it that my expectations are out of alignment with reality?” Look around you, say facts, and be honest. You can expect to work, strive, and risk take for the duration of your life. You can expect that the outcome of your efforts remains unknown. You can expect that people will be imperfect. You can expect tragedy, rejection, and failure. None of this is your fault but it is your responsibility to decide how you want to relate to reality. Is that one person in your life always mean to you? Next time you see them, expect harshness. Is there a step-by-step process to achieving your goals? If you do not complete that process expect the goal to be unmet. Is there an irritating element in your career (e.g. documentation, phone calls with bureaucrats, etc.)? Embrace that element and create a sustainable ritual around it. Did your brilliant idea get rejected? The most successful people are often the most criticized. Another war? Par for the course for the human race. Most of us would love to see the end of war and human atrocity but acting surprised that we're at it again and imaging one is above it does not solve the problem. Notice places in life where you can let go of expectations and sit in the unknown. Much of life does not require expectations to be placed upon it. When you set a goal and do your best to move towards it using any means at your disposal, it is best to let go of the outcome. You may arrive at your vision or you may wind up in some other scenario with gifts and challenges you did not anticipate. Often people grasp on to an outcome because many of us have a fantasy of finitude; that somehow we will find the one thing that enables us to never have to work, strive, or risk take again.
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AuthorProsopon Therapy Archives
April 2024
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